But anyway. I woke up this morning and wanted to kill myself for no reason at all. So I went back to bed. And I woke up and felt the same way. So I went downstairs to decide if I deserved breakfast. And Julian invited me over. So I said yes. And then I went to his house. And I was cheering up a bit. But then something happened that I don’t want to talk about and I was upset because I felt like I disappointed him. And stuff. And then I was upset and he kept asking me what was wrong and I said I didn’t know or nothing. I thought it was clear what was wrong. And then suddenly, he just gave up and got all annoyed. So then I felt worse because I upset him, but also compelled to cheer him up so I pretended to be really cheerful, which cheered him up. Unfortunately, burying those feelings caused them to build up and I got upset again. This time, however, he slowly began to make me slightly feel better and I was cheering up. Then, the girl he lost his virginity to called him. And asked to hang out. She did the same thing last week and I expressed desire to meet her because I like meeting his friends. However, right now I expressed zero desire to hang out with her. However, Julian invited her over and she came over. The two of the sat and talked about people I didn’t know and events that didn’t involve me, leaving me no gaps to enter the conversation. I got bored and upset and began to walk around the yard in circles, honestly just hoping that someone would give me attention because I was lonely and felt worthless. After receiving no attention, I was kind of upset and we went inside. I was playing the guitar, but would occasionally make comments into the conversation, which were ignored or interrupted half the time. Lots of these put myself down like I frequently do when upset. After I went home, I ran upset and began crying and received a few texts from Julian, mostly telling me to stop saying bad things about myself because it makes everyone uncomfortable and that I make him feel worthless when I’m upset. And about how hard he tries to cheer me up, even though I honestly didn’t perceive that he was trying very hard at all. Then he fell asleep and now I’m lying on my bed, crying, and being upset about the shitty fucking day I had.
spinachandcommunism asked: Psh you're cute as hell. You probably get this all the time
Aw this barely ever happens! Aren’t you a sweetheart :)
wastefuly0uth asked: hello. i was just wondering if you would be able to do me a huge favour and promote my blog to your followers as i am so close to my goal. I post thinspo/weight loss and also hipster/grunge etc. i always answer asks and give advice etc no matter if it is anonymous or open. i am following back for next 48 hours cause my dash is dead also. if you do so, i will promo you back if you wish. this is much appreciated. thank you x
Sure! I don’t have many followers, but check this girl out guys!
Anonymous asked: ew bitch ur fat